#going through the motions of life
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mochiwrites · 6 months ago
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being so honest I don’t understand how people can expect you to be doing things constantly every single day. I’m supposed to be on summer break but my university expects me to send in 80 sources for my senior thesis by next week
the very thought of doing school work right now makes me want to cry. I can’t even open a blank document and start writing for my own fics. I can’t even engage in my own hobby right now because I’m so mentally exhausted. how can you expect me to do thesis work? I’ve hardly had a break since finals
my personal life has been an ongoing shitshow since last summer. and has only gotten worse in recent months. how can you expect someone to function in society when you throw one thing after another at them?
I’m so tired and done. but I have no choice other than pushing through it because that’s what’s expected of me! that’s exhausting
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plusultraetc · 17 days ago
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okay but what if seeing quirkless pro hero Deku on the news inspires quirkless former-pro Takami Keigo to try the whole hero thing again, but this time on his own terms
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melnonny · 4 months ago
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one thing i hope double exposure does is keep the creep factor of lis 1. because as someone who knew nothing walking into the game, i was surprised at how casually unnerving everything felt and it totally sucked me in.
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roarinsaurus · 5 months ago
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the thing i keep thinking back to over and over about i saw the tv glow is when owen is like "i have a family of my own now. i love them a lot" and then you NEVER see them, not even a sound, it's just a blip, they're just an empty motion...
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silkhy-john · 2 months ago
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Luke dies. Ethan lives, gets assigned long term punishment as a wanderer by the gods, and takes backbiter as his own weapon. Alabaster gets assigned the same punishment and resents Luke. Alabaster and Ethan meet. Discuss.
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yoonia · 1 year ago
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the struggles of writing smut (series edition)
where were we?
going back to the previous chapter to see which room they were in 
“…as he lifts her up and presses her against the wall”; previous chapter: they were on a bed
vice versa for this version: “she clenches her fingers around the bedsheets beneath her…”; previous chapter: they were in the living room
did this character give the other a nickname?
going back to the previous chapter to see if they’re naked yet
“…he rips her panties off her skin”; previous chapter: he already stole her panties
and vice versa for this version: “she falls breathless as she watches him smoothly taking his suit off and start unbuttoning his shirt…”; previous chapter: he’s already shirtless
when they’re climaxed/finished and the main/male character wipes his partner clean with his shirt that was tossed in the other room a few chapters ago
“…as he runs his fingers through her silky hair”; previous chapter: her hair is thick and curly 
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meeks-just-wants-to-scroll · 8 months ago
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I knew Micah wasn’t a great guy but I was a fool to think he had any redeeming traits.
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abtheb · 2 years ago
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April 28, 2023
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Despite everything, it's still you.
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goblin-gardens · 3 months ago
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Just wrote an email coming out as nonbinary to the hardest conceivable group: the 5 girls I was friends with in middle school because one of them is inviting us to her pre-wedding Girls Trip And Witchy Women Time. Yikes.
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aq2003 · 9 months ago
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i think twelve and clara are starting to make sense to me but i don't think it's what moffat intended or how the ppl that like them see their dynamic
#they are so obsessed with each other but not as people but the ideas of each other.#twelve's whole character to me feels like the grieving immortal that no longer has anything as a buffer#between him and the weight of the universe. so he sees clara as this culmination of every one of the companions he's lost before#and that adds up. what w/ eleven meeting versions of clara and seeing them die. that adds up w/ clara's presence in heaven sent#faceless and just telling him what to do. she is the companion he cannot fail this time (but he also#cannot reconcile how one of the reasons he keeps someone like her around is /because/ she's mortal)#meanwhile clara bc of her time in the tardis and how she was treated by eleven. thinks herself to be more than she is#she thinks she's owed so much in her life and she thinks she can handle all of it. like ten in waters of mars#so she views twelve and the life in the tardis as an affirmation of what's so extraordinary about her#which is also how she sees danny. i think her character really sings if this is the main idea w/ her relationships with others#bc it's how the doctor acted around her when he first met her. not seeing her as a person but as an idea a mystery a means to an end#so of course as someone who becomes more and more like the doctor as time goes on it makes so much sense that this would be so central#just like how w martha's doctorfication arc it was about self-sacrifice and violence and death. bc that's how ten acted around her#twelve and clara still have the standard traits of doctor and companion of course. the doctor saves the companion when they're in trouble.#the companion remembers to care when the doctor forgets. but they're going through familiar motions as they#start to lose more and more of themselves by being around each other. bc they don't really see the other person#and that's why their dynamic is so obsessive and toxic#dr who#12 era#now this reading has made both characters make a lot of sense to me but also this has tanked my enjoyment of hell bent#in how clara's arc resolves. i won't elaborate more on that until i actually get to it on the rewatch though
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torchickentacos · 11 months ago
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winter depression is here and I am ANNOYED about it
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mediumsizedpidegon · 2 years ago
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thinking about Shang Qinghua as a calamity again...
#svsss#shang qinghua#technically counts as tgcf?#just the idea of sqh dying and coming back is so compelling because in canon he literally just going through the motions. he's given up.#he doesn't WANT to die (from mbj's hand– from cang qiong's fall) but that's all he sees. it's the only end he can imagine to his story.#so the act of getting him to the point where he WANTS to stay– where it doesn't matter that death has come to take him he's not DONE YET is#revolutionary to his character (his ‟character‟– his role as well) in of itself and requires some canon divergence to justify it#and it's INTENSELY interesting to imagine him getting there#Imagine: An Ding is cruel. It is cruel and inefficient and its cruelties only make it more so. Sqh is ‟awarded‟ with the role of Peak Lord#of An Ding (this crown of barbed wire). And sqh doesn't MEAN to change the plot but– it's awful here! It's so awful that it's OFFENSIVE#and before sqh knows it two years have passed and An Ding is a mess of growing pains: of infrastructure torn down and rebuilt#but it's... better. It's hard work. It undeniably sucks and makes sqh cry from frustration all the time! Balancing the fixing of all the#shit his shizun left broken while staying on top of his usual duties is a procession of sleepless nights and little pains. (perhaps sqh has#growing pains too. change is hard for all that it's necessary.)#and then– and THEN! He's on his way to a trade meeting or spying for mbj or something else: it's doesn't matter.#And however the stage is set sqh dies and– sqh's life is finally starting to NOT suck! yqy has been asking for his future plans and sqh has#been answering. qqq found a scrap of a picture book he wrote when he was a senior disciple and demanded he finish it because it#‟had potential to increase literacy‟! He has a second command that he trusts won't stab him at the slightest provocation! His life is busy#and more than a little hellish but it's HIS. He's changed things even he didn't mean to.#An Ding's HIS. he got rid of the assholes and poured so much WORK into the people left and then the people who came later.#All of it boils down to this: it's unfair. it's too soon. it wasn't supposed to happen like this.#and so sqh dies for the second time and screams himself back to existence if not life.#the system cracking beneath his teeth– puppeteer turned to power for the puppet to consume.#(So there is a ghost on An Ding for all that only the ghost knows it.)
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maideninorange · 8 months ago
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Sorry for vanishing guys. I'm still alive, just... taking a break from social media. My mental health has not been kind to me these past few months, and I found that I... Just haven't been able to reblog and do things like I used to on here. Not to mention college. College has been eating up a lot of my time.
I don't know why things are like this for me, but like this they are. I keep telling myself I'll come back one of these days, but so far nothing has stuck.
So yeah. TL;DR: I'm still alive, just gone dormant. I hope to be back one day for real though. When? I do not know. But someday.
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ineed-to-sleep · 1 year ago
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My therapist told me today that I'm one of her patients who's made the most progress in the last two years and honestly I have a feeling I'm getting a good grade at therapy
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letbuckfuck · 7 days ago
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rejected invites 4 different times this halloween i love this life
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messengerhermes · 1 year ago
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Look, I've spent my entire adult life advocating for voting as harm reduction, that candidates will never be perfect and most democrats are really just centrists who we have to scream at to get them to do damn near anything, but that's still preferable to the outright violence of the republican party. I get the point of voting as not the only step but the first step. But. But. But is in the middle of a genocide really the time to be hollering in people's faces about how they cannot vote third party in this coming presidential election? About how they *have* to vote for Biden, because at least he's not Trump? There is a time and place for the discussion about avoiding putting a dictator in the Whitehouse when we have a broken two party system where the electoral college does not adequately represent the will of the people. I would politely argue that time and place is *not* in the middle of the sitting president endlessly doubling down on supporting an active genocide. People have the right to be furious with the democratic party. People have the right to not trust the democratic party, or agree about them being "the better of two evils." The Clinton administration escalated the War on Drugs, gave us the deeply anti-Black "super predator" concept, and are the origins of today's ICE and the deterrence strategy that has led thousands of migrants to die in the desert. The Obama administration broke records when it came to drone strikes over Syria and when it came to deportations. Continuously using the threat of the Republican party as a stick to pressure folks into voting Democrat grows less and less effective every time the Democratic party makes concessions that move it farther center. Which they have been doing since the Reagan administration as a strategy to capture centrists and maintain power. The Biden administration has done good on a number of policy fronts. But it's also caved to pressure to end the public health emergency, ended eviction moratoriums and been slow on a number of fronts to address people's rising unrest at the soaring costs of inflation. Our current Congress has been a shitshow rife with in-fighting that has stalled out key policies, and yes, has seen Democrats make concessions to Republican extremists in ways that weaken bills that could have gone farther in providing relief and boosting our failing infrastructure. Then we hit October, and the US federal government throws its weight behind a genocide, ignoring the swelling outcry and condemnation from its citizens. The US government is continuing to fund Israel's genocide of Palestine and federal staffers are having to walk out on the goddamn job to get their bosses to acknowledge the calls coming through. Biden has been caught multiple times spreading misinformation regarding the genocide in Palestine. Representative Rashida Tlaib, the one Palestinian American in Congress, has been censured for daring to speak up on behalf of her constituents and condemn this violence. Funders of the democratic party are angling to force out Progressive members of the party like Rashida Tlaib, Cori Bush, Ilhan Omar, and others in the upcoming elections. Hollering at people to "Vote Blue no matter who" right now is profoundly callous and ill timed. It is also a remarkably ineffective strategy to try and ensure we don't have a red wave in the coming election. This is not a matter of "holding your nose and voting" this time. There is a 12,000 person body count in the last month. Americans are watching live on Twitter as Palestinians are slaughtered with our tax dollars. We are witnessing a Democratically controlled government still choose to fund imperialism over feeding, clothing, and housing its citizens. I beg you to consider how callous you sound throwing a fit about folks who no longer see supporting the democratic party as a valid strategy to fight Republican conservatism as we witness three genocides at once.
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